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DREAMING OF BEING FOLLOWED, ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, BY VERY EX-BOYFRIENDS
Friday already / 6 July '01
Thanks go to Gusset, for connecting us to neumu.

Now for the painful part.
at relish
No. There are things I just cannot tell you yet, okay? I want to expose myself... I want you to know (really know) when darkness drapes itself like a wet cold dirty towell over my shoulders, dampening my daily existence [composed of what feels, sometimes, like weeks of saturdays (um, please note that I don't sleep past 9 am, hardly ever)].
It was a summer of love, freedom, and traipsing...Taking photos cross dressers, of wild 11 yearold girls, and of famous artists' cleavage from a balcony above.... Until: Enter loss, sadness, and even shame. But I don't think I am ready to tell you about all this. Not yet anyway.

fuckit. I lost my camera. Okay? So I lost it, alright? It seems to be gone. Or maybe it was stolen. It could have been stolen. Regardless, I no longer have my digital camera, the one I saved up for months to buy. And I have no job. Okay? Do we feel closer to eachother now that you know these dark truths? I don't know. Write your name and phone numbers on your stuff.
I mean, there are people out there, people looking for the camera for me, in the North Fork of Long Island where I had it last. They might find it. They might. You know what? I don't want to talk about it.


before i lost the camera

i took some photos
photos from before

DREAMING OF SPIDERS UNDER THE COVERS CRAWLING ON MY SKIN
Thursday / 5 July '01
dinnerplate
Dinner by Seb...

Where have I been? Why haven't I updated? There are various excuses, true ones, which I could access to explain a 5 day lapse. There are dark things, those I'm not ready to share, and there are lovely ones, too. The most lovely of them all is that I've been at the beach, on the North Fork of Long Island, for a few days, where we bought fresh seafood -- lobster, mussels and clams -- and arrived at Jorge's house, which our friend is helping to renovate, and first off met some other folks staying and working on the house, Seb and Dan, and also their visitors, Mike, Stephanie.

We merged our seafood booty with their calamari and swordfish. Seb said "I'll be in charge of the cooking". Well... I had never met Seb before. I mean, he seemed perfectly perfect and all, but we had no idea what we were getting into... we agreed he would cook, yet I retained a small, internal trepidation: "okay... But, uhh, I hope he knows how to steam the mussels... using the garlic, the wine, the parsely like I saw it done once.... And The Lobster...17 minutes! on STEAM, not BOIL..."

We fixed oursleves a Camapari and soda, official coctail of summer, (with a splash of grapefruit) and hung out in the spacious kitchen while Seb mixed it up, talking, telling stories, whirling things into shape. He sliced fresh herbs and chipolte peppers on the huge cutting board; He had all 6 burners of the industrial gas stove flaming, some boiling, a few sizzling, one carmelizing, something basting.

A cigarette dangling out of his mouth, a drink in one hand, Seb orchestrated it like an improv dance, architecting flavors, marinades and sauces on the fly. Within a few hours the table was set and we were served one of the top 5 most beautiful meals I have eaten (probably).

Forget all these expensive, haute, swanky NYC restaurants! Forget Them! This meal: It was fragrant, colorful, beautiful... the mussels were gingery and garlicky, perfectly steamed. Poured over a bed of arugula, the calamari wilted it to perfection. The swordfish: No. Never have I tasted a more fresh and perfectly prepared piece of fish. Lobster. Steamers. Some greens. It was painful, how good this meal was. And we had red wine from Mike's family vinyard in Napa Valley. And we were barefoot, still in our swimsuits from our dip in the pool earlier. And, it has to be said that under 50 bucks worth of seafood fed all 7 of us, lobster included. Seb was soooooooo king.


squid entry

cat on my back

dinner served
Dinner at the beach

Oh, and the Pixelsurgeon article on Women In Design has been published. It's an interesting essay, and a springboard for what could become a deep and really juicy discussion, a Force, if you will. Oh, and it features a quote by, um, Me.
+ + +


+ Me and Bridget, by the Bridge : [june 30 '01]
+ Dropped it, ate it anyway : [june 21 '01]
+ Deep into the Moroccan medina : [june 15 '01]
+ Arlo ran away, got fired from job : [may 19 '01]
+ Art opening Sightings : [may 12 '01]
+ Thumbs Up on Broadway : [may 11 '01]
+ My Own Mirror Project : [may 10 '01]
+ meet Trixie : [may 07 '01]
+ billboard giantess : [may 03 '01]
+ pierced and chained boobs? : [may 01 '01]
+ Years of NYC residue : [apr 27 '01]
+ Willie and wieners : [apr 23 '01]
+ rolling the street cart : [apr 20 '01]
+ BROOKLYN jackhammers : [apr 19 '01]
+ easter day was one of drinking : [apr 16 '01]
+ my blood was let : [apr 12 '01]
+ THIS PLACE IS SO 5 MINUTES AGO : [apr 3 '01]
+ help is on the way : [mar 30'01]
+ a love letter to... : [mar 27'01]
+ big afro in the Bleecker station: [mar 20'01]
+ the progress of hangingout: [mar 14'01]
+ i can rap, you know: [mar 13'01]
+ hitchhiking, snowboarding: [mar 09'01]
+ candid new york: [feb 27 '01]
+ i drank 3 beers: [feb 16 '01]
+ giant twat pear: [feb 12 '01]
+ cat fight : [feb 11 '01]
+ babies and brandons: [feb 08 '01]
+ if we took a holiday. holiday: [feb 03 '01]
+ join me in my egofest: [feb 02 '01]
+ beaucoup des phoblography: [jan 30 '01]
+ ...it was, like, just yesterday: [jan 29 '01]
+ i was vaguely grim: [jan 27 '01]
+ eqb's soul was found: [jan 18 '01]
+ some things were found: [jan 16 '01]
+ what is hot? what is not?: [jan 13 '01]
+ this was the first of the year: [jan 01, 01]
+ because i care about you: [dec 26, 00]
+ read last week's entry: [dec 19, 00]
+ because: [dec 12, 00]
+ you never know: [dec 05, 00]
+ what you're missing: [nov 29, 00]
+ it all started here: [nov 22, 00]

spycam picture du jour
briget jones reader
[click image for big version] Briget Jones reader on the L platform late at night after the Tortoise show, which we didn't even enjoy very much.

liz smith reader
[click image for big version] Reader of Liz Smith on the L train.

mrs doubtfire
[click image for big version] At some Conde Nast gig... Mrs. Doubtfire?


I got some thing from some folks...



props
+ this kid's from brooklyn
+ a cute org = red
+ alt.sense
+ mad orange fools
+ bfg stands for what?
+ textures in fred's head
+ bklyn girl at last
+ lightningfield.com
+ moonmilk.com
+ subinev
+ harrumph.com
+ k10k.com
+ we are fresh
+ gmunk
+ kenholder.net
+ mat...mark...Luke Holder
+ stereobate
+ mcsweeneys dot net

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