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Wednesday, April 07, 2004 | 3:20PM
IGNORANT BLISS

Baby Tallulah is sooo 3D. But she is not ignorant.

Thanks for helping me celebrate 35 on 04/04/04 with a birthday pedicure at Bliss, JKH. Even though all eyes were on Tallulah instead of on our own scrubbed and polished feet, I am quite happy with my oh-so Dynasty's Crystal pink toenails.

Bliss Spa does a nice job with any service you pay them for, but a new item in their catalog deserves scrutiny. Shoes. Bliss is selling shoes. Now, it's no big deal, Bilss Spa selling shoes. They have delicious taste, delightfully appealing packaging, a marketing campaign that's ripe with witty puns to force even the most cynical new yorker into a grin, all wrapped-up in springy clean packaging.

But these shoes are special. These shoes claim to fight cellulite. Yes, they're kind of clunky like old-school Reebok aerobics shoes, but no excersizing is necessary if you're sporting these. Just...wear them. The Dr.Scholls of 2004. As a Bliss-Spa expert was explaining the allure of this new shoe—which is on back-order until who-knows-when after selling like a gazillion pairs right out of the gate—he pointed to the display, where I noticed the shoe's name, The Maasai. OK. Fair enough that these shoes claim to fight cellulite. Maybe it's true...afterall, "The research test-results are in", he explained, "they just need to be translated from the German!"

But, naturally curious, after travelling in East Africa and crossing paths with members of the Maasai tribe,
I ask:
"Does the shoe's name come from the east African tribe, the Maasai?"

"Yes! It does." He replied with enthusiasm. "Apparently the researchers were travelling in Africa and came across this tribe of people! Apparently cellulite is like virtually nonexistant among these people!"

Me:
"Oh, huh. The Maasai people eat a diet consisting largely of cornmeal, and work very hard, at physical labor, as a way of life."

He:
"Well apparently they like walk around on like mostly sand alldaylong? And they don't have any cellulite! So these shoes are designed to mimic their environment... Yeah!"

Me, now only thinking to myself, not speaking outloud:
"That's interesting because the Maasai wear shoes made from recycled tires, which cost probably a few dollars."

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Postscript: I notice now on Bliss' site that they aren't billing the shoe as the Maasai anymore. Perhaps they realized the absurdity of their namesake. Should you decide to judge for yourself, you can pre-order your pair for just $234.
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Wednesday, March 31, 2004 | 1:22 PM
BRING BACK BOB, THE MOVEMENT

"are you crazy?????" —Mary H.
"I feel sick, just sick" —Dr. John C.
"Bob Edwards IS Morning Edition. Do you have to be like commercial radio?" —Mickail H. S., Boston

Quotes from + www.savebobedwards.com
Sign the petition and other tips to help persuade NPR to keep Bob Edwards on Morning Edition. [link via along]
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I just came from the Lee Friedlander 'trees' show at Janet Borden Gallery. It was there, not 30 minutes ago, that I learned that Lee Friedlander is a man.
Lee Friedlander is not a woman.
Lee Friedlander is a man.
I am happy, however, to report that Camille Claudelle is still a woman.

+ Lee Friedlander's photos of Madonna from 1978
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"...if anyone has wagged the dog here, I think it's George Bush"
   —Richard Clark, interviewed by Terry Gross on Fresh Aire. Nothing short of fasc-in-a-ting.
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Sunday, March 28, 2004 2004 2004 2004. NOT 1994 | 6:00PM
PARDON ME!

Hearing Dolly Pardon in every Brooklyn or Manhattan bar or restaurant we take two steps into is alright, for now.

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+ I saw her on the L Train [by Jason Gordon, NYTimes]:
"We dated for a year before moving in together. I was against marriage and so is she, but after three years together she wanted a ring and I gladly got it for her. It was a small ceremony and we both cried.... . We had three children... Jagger, Bowie and Moz." ...continued »
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Is it any fun to look at other people's photobooth photos (o.p.p.p.)?
Maybe not... It might help if they're in motion:
+ 10-second cinema's Super Photo Booth


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Saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (ESOTSM) this weekend. A totally entertaining, rich, engrossing ride, completely absent of fiery explosions and Hollywood sex. So much... character...

I love the way that it can happen that you can forget yourself in a movie, but also in some kind of cinematic self-obsessive-imagination/life-as-drama integration-creation, simultaneously project yourself into the on-screen plot. You can kind of write yourself into a new role, a new persona, composed of several peices from mutliple movie characters.

...when the lights come up in the theatre of the movie that just ended, you sense, imaginarily, that the camera is now rolling in the movie that is your life. This scene features you and your companion, having just watched a movie; You're brilliantly cast in the part of 'you':

You and companion sit side-by-side, still slunk deep into your theatre seats; movie end-credits rolling. Dim lighting. We hear a low scraping sound. With your teeth, you're pulling your straw in-and-out through the hole in plastic lid of soda cup. Camera closeup: your every miniscule facial expressions are magnified with significance. This is the scene of initial character development. With every subtle facial expression, the relationship between you and your companion is being established.

Both still gazing at the screen, studying the music copyrights, special-thanks, grips' and best-boys' names, you whisper to companion "Someone in the movie was named Justin Boots. Justin Boots, that's funny." Companion leans in closely, "Uh, no, that's...that's a boot company, called Justin Boots. They're being credited for supplying the movie. With boots."

Cut to you're both slowly articulating sideways between movie seats towards the exit-aisle. Enter the aisle, meet the upward-slanting of the floor, you resist gravity and do that slow-motion, one-foot-stepping-back lunge. Both walk towards the rear exit in silence, both still in your post-movie daze.

In lobby, you and companion exchange mutual 'meet you after the bathroom' nods. All of the the mediocre moments in between Moments have been edited-out, and although you're an unknown, non-star, and there is no audience actually watching, your movie's plot will continue to develop... over the rest of the evening, over the rest of the month, the rest of the year and yes, your ...entire... would-be cinematic... life.

This next scene is necessary to transition us into post-flick restaurant scene: camera passes near another couple, clearly on a date, negotiating their post-movie dining choices. She suggests a Cambodian place, nearby. 'Anything but Asian' he responds.

The ending of your script is yet to be written. But since you are the star, co-star and target-audience, at least you will stay engaged... as the plot thickens...

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Thursday, March 25, 2004 | 11:00AM
HERE COMES THE TEE JAY + FLICK SCHSTICK REWRITTEN 4 TIMES AT LEAST (HOW DO YOU SPELL SCHSTICK?)


The 1975 movie 3 Days of the Condor

Needing a good Seventies Cinema fix, still not having found it in us to rent They Shoot Horses, Don't They (1969) [but someday we will sit down and watch that movie]...we almost went for All the President's Men, but instead chose a different flavor of Redford, Three Days of the Condor (1975), after having finally seen Network recently. I don't think I can ever get enough Faye Dunaway anyway.
Three Days of the Condor is weird, dialogueally speaking. And the twist of events surrounding the 'love' story is... strange. One thing I love about movies from the 60s and 70s is how they don't tend to overexplain the story through wordy false-sounding dialogue, which can slow things up and feel insulting to the viewer. But here the result is that the details of the plot are just super vague and cryptic. However, the sweeping, shiny, reflective 1970's views of NYC are wonderful, and worth sitting through the movie for. A close second and third reasons are Redford's hair, and cool 70s cars. And then there's Faye. Don't forget Faye.
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No, no no no no.... Bob, don't go! + Bob Edwards to leave NPR's Morning Edition.
(+ A letter from Bob Edwards)
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+ baby t.j. is comin' to town!
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+ Tribute to Spalding Gray on Fresh Aire with Terry Gross, part 1
+ Tribute to Spalding Gray on Fresh Aire with Terry Gross, part 2
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+ foxxxx made love: further support for my 'antlers dominating contemporary art' theory.

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Sunday, March 21, 2003 | 5:30PM
BRING SPRING

Last weekend we watched the DVD The Work of Michel Gondry straight-through, sides A & B. If in the palm of his left hand he holds his playful "I've been twelve forever" manifesto, it grips tighlty to his right-hand which holds, to complete this weird analogy, what could be called his artistic-technical-geniuslike-ability-to-Pull-It-All-Off.
His short films and videos can get so recursive, meta, or self-emulating, they can blow your little mind.

If you rent the DVD, watch the documentary discussing the making-of stuff, including interviews with the musicians, to further enhance the videos themselves. My favorite, special, super, incredible highlights would include Bjork's 'Bachorlette', Kylie Minogue's 'Come into My World', Cibo Matto's 'Sugar Water', Daft Punk's 'Around the World', and both of the Chemical Brothers' videos. Looking forward to seeing his first second* full-length feature film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
If you can figure out the navigation of this site, here's some more info on director Michel Gondry and a page of movie clips...it seems.
*Didn't realize he made Human Nature. Thanks, Tomas.
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photo of photographing; taken with my new camera which is considerably smaller than a photobooth.

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Thursday, March 18, 2003 | 10PM
NEW! NEW! NEW(CAMERA)!

+ Rummy caught on Face the Nation with foot in mouth [moveon.org]
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After much anticipation, my new Fujifilm 610 camera arrived today, via wonderful wonderful Canada. Photos soon to follow, soon as I learn how it works.
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+ Nature's artforms, with alpha channels, free for the remixing
My goodness these make me weep. The most beautiful things ever lived. (Talk about nice tattoo designs.)
credit: Ernst Haeckel (+ Spot Draves)
"Spot Draves has released a bunch of Ernst Haeckel's Kunstformen der Natur (Artforms of Nature) as Creative-Commons-licensed, high-resolution scans in PNG format, with painstaking alpha transparency channels that allow you to easily composite them onto other images. Haeckel was the naturist who stated that "ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny" -- that foetuses step through their evolutionary history in the womb. It turned out that he was kind of making that up and faking his evidence, but he sure drew pretty pictures, and the meme's got legs. Well, first it had a tail, then it had legs." —via mark quoting boingboing.
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+ Democratic prez candidate Kerry snowboards (photo on yahoo),
+ Kerry vacation article on NyTimes.com

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